Funniest Jokes
Cannibals Joke
Two cannibals are enjoying dinner. One compliments the other, "I say, Bill, your wife really makes a great meal."
Youth Joke
Around 50% of our youth sees the future in a positive way. The other half doesn’t have the money to buy the drugs.
Surgeon Joke
How did the dentist suddenly become a brain surgeon?
A slip of the hand.
Parachute Joke
A guy asked at a skydiving school, "If the chute doesn't open and the reserve doesn't open either, how long until we hit the ground?" The instructor looked at him and said, "The rest of your life."
Mum Joke
But mum, I don't want to go to America.
Hush child and keep swimming.
Witty Joke
Q: Why did the one-armed man cross the road?
A: To get to the second hand shop.
Arab Joke
Two Arabs sit in the Gaza Strip, enjoying a quiet pint of goat milk. One takes out his wallet and starts flipping through the pictures. - "This is my oldest son. He's a martyr. This here is my second son. He's also a martyr!" - The second Arab nods, “They blow up so fast, don't they?"
Cannibals Joke
Two cannibals are chewing a clown. One says to the other: "Hey, does it taste kinda funny to you?"
American Joke
A man visits a doctor for a checkup. When it’s over, the doctor tells him he has bad news. "You have only six months to live." The man digests it for a while and then says, "There's just one thing I can do, I have to become a Communist." Surprised, the doctor asks, "But you've been a patriotic American all your life, why would you become a Communist now?" The man says, "Better when one of them dies than one of us!"
Chinese Joke
A Chinese boy pleads with his Grandpa, “Granddad, can I have a dog? Please???!!!“ - Two hours later says Grandpa, “Enjoy your meal, my boy.”
Japanese Joke
I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today. I had to drop the bomb two or three times before she finally got it.
Hospital Joke
Man is asked at the hospital: How tall are you?
5'8’’, doctor.
I’m very sorry, but I’m not the doctor. I’m the carpenter.
Turkey Joke
Two turkeys are looking at the sky at dusk and one asks the other: „Do you believe in life after Christmas?“
Police Joke
Q: Have you heard they found a dead guy with his head buried in his cornflakes?
A: The police believed it was a cereal killer.
Beach Joke
A stressed-looking mom and little Johnny run around the beach. After about fifteen minutes the mom stops, out of breath and demands, „Come on Johnny, please remember where you buried daddy in the sand, will you?“
Manager Joke
An artist asked the gallery manager if anybody asked about his paintings. "Well, there’s good news and there’s bad news," said the owner. "The good one is that a gentleman liked your work and asked if its value would appreciate after your death. When I said yes, he bought all 20 of your paintings." "But that’s fantastic," whooped the artist. "What could possibly be the bad news?" "The gentleman was your doctor."
Plane Crash Joke
This morning saw what will probably become the worst air disaster in the Midwest. An ultralight single-seater plane crashed into a cemetery in Stockholm, Wisconsin. So far, the search and rescue teams have recovered 1736 bodies and as the digging continues into the night, we can only expect that number to climb.
Blind Man Joke
A blind man with a guide dog comes to a town square, takes the dog by the tail and starts whirling him around. „What on earth are you doing?!“ asks a passer-by. The blind man replies, „Nothing, just looking around a bit.“
Mom Joke
What is yellow and makes moms happy in the morning?
The school bus.
Cannibal Joke
One cannibal complains to another, "Man I'm having a terrible constipation lately!" - "See? I told you not to eat so many government clerks!"
Dentist Joke
Dentist’s tombstone: Here lies Frank Serra, filling his last cavity.
This post consists of the most appreciated funniest jokes ever told by anyone.
Two cannibals are enjoying dinner. One compliments the other, "I say, Bill, your wife really makes a great meal."
Youth Joke
Around 50% of our youth sees the future in a positive way. The other half doesn’t have the money to buy the drugs.
Surgeon Joke
How did the dentist suddenly become a brain surgeon?
A slip of the hand.
Parachute Joke
A guy asked at a skydiving school, "If the chute doesn't open and the reserve doesn't open either, how long until we hit the ground?" The instructor looked at him and said, "The rest of your life."
Mum Joke
But mum, I don't want to go to America.
Hush child and keep swimming.
Witty Joke
Q: Why did the one-armed man cross the road?
A: To get to the second hand shop.
Arab Joke
Two Arabs sit in the Gaza Strip, enjoying a quiet pint of goat milk. One takes out his wallet and starts flipping through the pictures. - "This is my oldest son. He's a martyr. This here is my second son. He's also a martyr!" - The second Arab nods, “They blow up so fast, don't they?"
Cannibals Joke
Two cannibals are chewing a clown. One says to the other: "Hey, does it taste kinda funny to you?"
American Joke
A man visits a doctor for a checkup. When it’s over, the doctor tells him he has bad news. "You have only six months to live." The man digests it for a while and then says, "There's just one thing I can do, I have to become a Communist." Surprised, the doctor asks, "But you've been a patriotic American all your life, why would you become a Communist now?" The man says, "Better when one of them dies than one of us!"
Chinese Joke
A Chinese boy pleads with his Grandpa, “Granddad, can I have a dog? Please???!!!“ - Two hours later says Grandpa, “Enjoy your meal, my boy.”
Japanese Joke
I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today. I had to drop the bomb two or three times before she finally got it.
Hospital Joke
Man is asked at the hospital: How tall are you?
5'8’’, doctor.
I’m very sorry, but I’m not the doctor. I’m the carpenter.
Turkey Joke
Two turkeys are looking at the sky at dusk and one asks the other: „Do you believe in life after Christmas?“
Police Joke
Q: Have you heard they found a dead guy with his head buried in his cornflakes?
A: The police believed it was a cereal killer.
Beach Joke
A stressed-looking mom and little Johnny run around the beach. After about fifteen minutes the mom stops, out of breath and demands, „Come on Johnny, please remember where you buried daddy in the sand, will you?“
Manager Joke
An artist asked the gallery manager if anybody asked about his paintings. "Well, there’s good news and there’s bad news," said the owner. "The good one is that a gentleman liked your work and asked if its value would appreciate after your death. When I said yes, he bought all 20 of your paintings." "But that’s fantastic," whooped the artist. "What could possibly be the bad news?" "The gentleman was your doctor."
Plane Crash Joke
This morning saw what will probably become the worst air disaster in the Midwest. An ultralight single-seater plane crashed into a cemetery in Stockholm, Wisconsin. So far, the search and rescue teams have recovered 1736 bodies and as the digging continues into the night, we can only expect that number to climb.
Blind Man Joke
A blind man with a guide dog comes to a town square, takes the dog by the tail and starts whirling him around. „What on earth are you doing?!“ asks a passer-by. The blind man replies, „Nothing, just looking around a bit.“
Mom Joke
What is yellow and makes moms happy in the morning?
The school bus.
Cannibal Joke
One cannibal complains to another, "Man I'm having a terrible constipation lately!" - "See? I told you not to eat so many government clerks!"
Dentist Joke
Dentist’s tombstone: Here lies Frank Serra, filling his last cavity.
This post consists of the most appreciated funniest jokes ever told by anyone.
