Good Jokes
Fridge Joke
One day, fridges will take their revenge. They will burst into your bedroom in the middle of the night, switch the light on, stare at you for a few minutes and then leave.
Kangaroo Joke
A female kangaroo scratches her stomach for a while like mad and finally yells, “How often do I have to repeat myself, no cookies in bed!!!”
Birth Joke
Mummy, where where you when I was born? In the hospital. And daddy? At work. That’s great. So nobody was home when I arrived.
Baby Joke
Little Ernie asks his auntie, “Why do you have such a big tummy, aunt Lisa?” “Because there’s a baby inside.” “Do you like babies?” “Very much!” “Well I still think it isn’t right to eat them.“
Fish Joke
Little Johnny walks into a pet store and asks the shop assistant: “Could you do me a big favor and throw me a fish please?” “Why on Earth would you want me to throw you a fish?!” “Because I want to tell everybody at home that I caught a fish.
Jumping Joke
Three bunnies want to jump a wall. First one jumps and clears the wall with a good 4 inch reserve. The second bunny jumps and makes it over the wall with a 5 inch reserve. The third bunny jumps and slams headfirst into the wall. When he wakes up, he says, “I must have jumped the highest. I definitely saw some stars.”
Duck Joke
A duck walks into a bar. It asks the barkeeper: “Do you have bread?” Bartender: “No.” Duck: “Do you have bread?” - Bartender: “NO!” - Duck: “Do you…” Bartender: “LISTEN! I HAVE NO BREAD AND IF YOU ASK ME ONE MORE TIME, I’M GONNA NAIL YOU TO THAT WALL!!!” Duck: “Do you have nails?” Bartender: “NO!” Duck: “Do you have bread?”
Friends Joke
Two friends are talking, one says: “Man, I fell off a thirty-foot long ladder yesterday.” “Oh no, dude, are you alright?!” inquires the other one, shocked. “Yeah, I’m OK, I was only on the second rung then.”
Witty Joke
I bet you 125851265228542 dollars that you didn’t bother to read that number. You just cruised right over it, didn’t you? You didn’t even notice I put a letter in it. Well I didn’t – but you went and looked anyway. My, you are quite predictable!
Butcher Joke
A boy comes into a butchery and stares at the butcher for at least 5 minutes. Finally the butcher asks, “So why do you stare at me for such a long time, boy?” The boy explains: “My mother wanted to know if you have a pig’s tail or pig’s ears.”
Mom Joke
Two boys are walking outside and one of them finds a hundred dollar bill. His friend suggests that they should take it to the lost-and-found office. The boy replies: “No point. This is my mom’s money.” His friend is startled, “But how can you know that?” “Because my father keeps saying that my mother is just throwing money out the window.”
Brothers Joke
“Your brother is so small!” the neighbor says happily to little Paulie. “Yeah, he’s only my half-brother.”
Farmer Joke
“Have you ever seen a little calf being born?” asks a farmer Little Johnny. “No, how is it?” “Well, first come the front legs, then the head, then the shoulders and the body and finally the hind legs.” “Wow, cool, and how do you put it all together then?”
Intelligent Joke
The magical goldfish agreed to grant three men a wish each. The first man wished for a room full of gold. The second man wished for a room full of diamonds. The third man wished for keys to those rooms.
Plane Joke
Two pigeons are sitting on a roof, watching a fighter plane streak across the sky leaving a big condensation trail behind it. “Wow, he seems to be in a hurry,” observes one pigeon. “And what would you do if your butt was on fire?!”
This is a post on good jokes.
One day, fridges will take their revenge. They will burst into your bedroom in the middle of the night, switch the light on, stare at you for a few minutes and then leave.
Kangaroo Joke
A female kangaroo scratches her stomach for a while like mad and finally yells, “How often do I have to repeat myself, no cookies in bed!!!”
Birth Joke
Mummy, where where you when I was born? In the hospital. And daddy? At work. That’s great. So nobody was home when I arrived.
Baby Joke
Little Ernie asks his auntie, “Why do you have such a big tummy, aunt Lisa?” “Because there’s a baby inside.” “Do you like babies?” “Very much!” “Well I still think it isn’t right to eat them.“
Fish Joke
Little Johnny walks into a pet store and asks the shop assistant: “Could you do me a big favor and throw me a fish please?” “Why on Earth would you want me to throw you a fish?!” “Because I want to tell everybody at home that I caught a fish.
Jumping Joke
Three bunnies want to jump a wall. First one jumps and clears the wall with a good 4 inch reserve. The second bunny jumps and makes it over the wall with a 5 inch reserve. The third bunny jumps and slams headfirst into the wall. When he wakes up, he says, “I must have jumped the highest. I definitely saw some stars.”
Duck Joke
A duck walks into a bar. It asks the barkeeper: “Do you have bread?” Bartender: “No.” Duck: “Do you have bread?” - Bartender: “NO!” - Duck: “Do you…” Bartender: “LISTEN! I HAVE NO BREAD AND IF YOU ASK ME ONE MORE TIME, I’M GONNA NAIL YOU TO THAT WALL!!!” Duck: “Do you have nails?” Bartender: “NO!” Duck: “Do you have bread?”
Friends Joke
Two friends are talking, one says: “Man, I fell off a thirty-foot long ladder yesterday.” “Oh no, dude, are you alright?!” inquires the other one, shocked. “Yeah, I’m OK, I was only on the second rung then.”
Witty Joke
I bet you 125851265228542 dollars that you didn’t bother to read that number. You just cruised right over it, didn’t you? You didn’t even notice I put a letter in it. Well I didn’t – but you went and looked anyway. My, you are quite predictable!
Butcher Joke
A boy comes into a butchery and stares at the butcher for at least 5 minutes. Finally the butcher asks, “So why do you stare at me for such a long time, boy?” The boy explains: “My mother wanted to know if you have a pig’s tail or pig’s ears.”
Mom Joke
Two boys are walking outside and one of them finds a hundred dollar bill. His friend suggests that they should take it to the lost-and-found office. The boy replies: “No point. This is my mom’s money.” His friend is startled, “But how can you know that?” “Because my father keeps saying that my mother is just throwing money out the window.”
Brothers Joke
“Your brother is so small!” the neighbor says happily to little Paulie. “Yeah, he’s only my half-brother.”
Farmer Joke
“Have you ever seen a little calf being born?” asks a farmer Little Johnny. “No, how is it?” “Well, first come the front legs, then the head, then the shoulders and the body and finally the hind legs.” “Wow, cool, and how do you put it all together then?”
Intelligent Joke
The magical goldfish agreed to grant three men a wish each. The first man wished for a room full of gold. The second man wished for a room full of diamonds. The third man wished for keys to those rooms.
Plane Joke
Two pigeons are sitting on a roof, watching a fighter plane streak across the sky leaving a big condensation trail behind it. “Wow, he seems to be in a hurry,” observes one pigeon. “And what would you do if your butt was on fire?!”
This is a post on good jokes.
