Funny Jokes Clean
Nice Joke
“I was sitting in a bus today when a blind person came in. I offered my seat to him. The blind person was very happy and took it. Unfortunately I lost my job as a bus driver.”
Cool Joke
I made cookies for you. It is an apology because I crashed your car.
YOU DID WHAT?!
Cookies. I made cookies for you.
Husband And Wife Joke
Tom and Anna are both 60 years old and have been married for 40 years. One day they go for a walk and all of a sudden a good fairy stands in front of them and says, “You’ve been married for so long and you’re so cute together, I’ll grant you a wish each.” The woman is beside herself with joy and wishes for a trip to Thailand. Poof – she’s holding two tickets to Thailand and a five star hotel voucher for two. - The man says, “Wow, that’s one chance in a lifetime! I’m sorry, darling, but I wish I had a wife that’s 30 years younger than me.” - “Are you sure?” asks the fairy. - “Yes!” replies Tom without hesitation. - Poof once more – and he’s 90.
Internet Joke
I am coughing and my nose is stuck.
Internet diagnosis: I am 26 weeks pregnant!
Intelligent Joke
A boy is sitting on a bus and eating one piece of chocolate after the other. A man sits down next to him and says: “Eating so much chocolate is not healthy for you boy.” The boy replies: “My grandfather died when he was 112 years old.” The man asks: “You think he became so old because he was eating lots of chocolate?” The boy answers: “He became so old because he minded his own business.”
Children Joke
Funny, those road signs: "Caution - Watch for children!" I mean, how dangerous can a child be?
Bar Joke
A guy walks into a bar and says urgently to the bartender, "Give me a beer before trouble starts!" He drinks his beer and orders another, again saying, "Give me a beer before trouble starts!" The bartender is confused but lets it go for another two beers, when he finally asks, "Hey man, when are you gonna pay for those beers?" The guy answers, "And now the trouble starts!
Flying Joke
Three guys are flying over a desert in a hot air balloon. They see a man below and yell at him, “Do you know where we are?” The man thinks about it for a long time and when they’re nearly out of earshot, yells after them, “You’re in a balloon.” “That was a mathematician,” says one of the aviators. “Why?” asks another. „Because it took him a hell of a long time, the answer is perfectly correct and yet its practical value is zero.”
God Joke
A holy man falls into water and soon starts to drown. But his faith in God is strong and he knows God will save him. A small boat rows to him and offers help. “No! God will help me, thank you!” gasps the holy man and continues drowning. A second, bigger boat comes by soon and tries to get the man out of the water. “No!” fights the holy man. “God alone will save me!” The boat leaves and the holy man finally drowns. In heaven, he feels quite betrayed and goes to ask God about it. “Well, you moron,” thunders the Lord, “and who do you think sent all those ships?!”
Grandma Joke
"Granny, why do you read obituaries every day?
Don't worry grandson. I just want to see who is single again.
Jungle Joke
A well-known hunter was once asked if it was true that the jungle predators will never attack a person carrying a lit torch. “That is true,” he responded, “but it does depend at what speed you are carrying that torch.”
Drunkard Joke
A drunk guy stumbles into a bar and says, „Those to my left you are all jerks. Those to my right, you are all idiots!“ A tall, muscular guy slowly stands up, puts on his cowboy hat and quietly says to the guy, “Well, I don’t think I’m an idiot at all.” “Alright,” agrees the guy, “you can go on the left.”
Glass Joke
A glass of Nutella has about 9870 calories.
But I don’t care. I never eat the glass anyway.
Alcoholic Joke
A guy spends the night drinking in a bar. When he finally leaves at 4:30, he immediately falls over. He crawls for a while, then tries to get back up, falls, crawls, gets back up. On an on he goes on doing this until he finally gets home. There he falls in his bed and promptly starts snoring. In the morning, his wife sighs, 'you’ve been drinking again, Joe, haven't you?' ‘How on Earth could you guess that, darling?' 'You went and left the wheelchair at the bar again!!!'
Husband Joke
I found my wife hanging from a rope in the attic. There was a note saying, "I really can't stand your criticsm any longer!" I quickly cut the rope and reanimated her. Thankfully I could bring her back to life. As she lay in my arms I could see her eyes slowly open and I said, "Come on, that's not how you spell criticism."
This is a post on funny jokes clean. This page contains numerous funny jokes clean in different categories and suitable for an universal audience across the world.
“I was sitting in a bus today when a blind person came in. I offered my seat to him. The blind person was very happy and took it. Unfortunately I lost my job as a bus driver.”
Cool Joke
I made cookies for you. It is an apology because I crashed your car.
YOU DID WHAT?!
Cookies. I made cookies for you.
Husband And Wife Joke
Tom and Anna are both 60 years old and have been married for 40 years. One day they go for a walk and all of a sudden a good fairy stands in front of them and says, “You’ve been married for so long and you’re so cute together, I’ll grant you a wish each.” The woman is beside herself with joy and wishes for a trip to Thailand. Poof – she’s holding two tickets to Thailand and a five star hotel voucher for two. - The man says, “Wow, that’s one chance in a lifetime! I’m sorry, darling, but I wish I had a wife that’s 30 years younger than me.” - “Are you sure?” asks the fairy. - “Yes!” replies Tom without hesitation. - Poof once more – and he’s 90.
Internet Joke
I am coughing and my nose is stuck.
Internet diagnosis: I am 26 weeks pregnant!
Intelligent Joke
A boy is sitting on a bus and eating one piece of chocolate after the other. A man sits down next to him and says: “Eating so much chocolate is not healthy for you boy.” The boy replies: “My grandfather died when he was 112 years old.” The man asks: “You think he became so old because he was eating lots of chocolate?” The boy answers: “He became so old because he minded his own business.”
Children Joke
Funny, those road signs: "Caution - Watch for children!" I mean, how dangerous can a child be?
Bar Joke
A guy walks into a bar and says urgently to the bartender, "Give me a beer before trouble starts!" He drinks his beer and orders another, again saying, "Give me a beer before trouble starts!" The bartender is confused but lets it go for another two beers, when he finally asks, "Hey man, when are you gonna pay for those beers?" The guy answers, "And now the trouble starts!
Flying Joke
Three guys are flying over a desert in a hot air balloon. They see a man below and yell at him, “Do you know where we are?” The man thinks about it for a long time and when they’re nearly out of earshot, yells after them, “You’re in a balloon.” “That was a mathematician,” says one of the aviators. “Why?” asks another. „Because it took him a hell of a long time, the answer is perfectly correct and yet its practical value is zero.”
God Joke
A holy man falls into water and soon starts to drown. But his faith in God is strong and he knows God will save him. A small boat rows to him and offers help. “No! God will help me, thank you!” gasps the holy man and continues drowning. A second, bigger boat comes by soon and tries to get the man out of the water. “No!” fights the holy man. “God alone will save me!” The boat leaves and the holy man finally drowns. In heaven, he feels quite betrayed and goes to ask God about it. “Well, you moron,” thunders the Lord, “and who do you think sent all those ships?!”
Grandma Joke
"Granny, why do you read obituaries every day?
Don't worry grandson. I just want to see who is single again.
Jungle Joke
A well-known hunter was once asked if it was true that the jungle predators will never attack a person carrying a lit torch. “That is true,” he responded, “but it does depend at what speed you are carrying that torch.”
Drunkard Joke
A drunk guy stumbles into a bar and says, „Those to my left you are all jerks. Those to my right, you are all idiots!“ A tall, muscular guy slowly stands up, puts on his cowboy hat and quietly says to the guy, “Well, I don’t think I’m an idiot at all.” “Alright,” agrees the guy, “you can go on the left.”
Glass Joke
A glass of Nutella has about 9870 calories.
But I don’t care. I never eat the glass anyway.
Alcoholic Joke
A guy spends the night drinking in a bar. When he finally leaves at 4:30, he immediately falls over. He crawls for a while, then tries to get back up, falls, crawls, gets back up. On an on he goes on doing this until he finally gets home. There he falls in his bed and promptly starts snoring. In the morning, his wife sighs, 'you’ve been drinking again, Joe, haven't you?' ‘How on Earth could you guess that, darling?' 'You went and left the wheelchair at the bar again!!!'
Husband Joke
I found my wife hanging from a rope in the attic. There was a note saying, "I really can't stand your criticsm any longer!" I quickly cut the rope and reanimated her. Thankfully I could bring her back to life. As she lay in my arms I could see her eyes slowly open and I said, "Come on, that's not how you spell criticism."
This is a post on funny jokes clean. This page contains numerous funny jokes clean in different categories and suitable for an universal audience across the world.
