Very Funny Jokes
Redhead Joke
A guy goes to the doctor for a checkup and his redhead wife goes with him. After the checkup, the doctor calls the wife into his office without her husband. He says to her, "I'm sorry to tell you this but your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, along with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will soon die: Every morning, make him a healthy breakfast. Always be pleasant towards him, and make sure he's in a good mood. For lunch make him a nice, nutritious meal. And for dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Make sure you don't burden him with chores. And don't discuss your problems with him, because it'll only make his stress even worse. And most importantly. make love with your husband every night and you must satisfy his every whim. If you can do this for the next year, I think your husband will get better and regain his health." After this, the redhead leaves the doctor's office and walks out of the building with her husband. As they do so, the guy asks his wife. "So what did the doctor say to you?" The redhead replies, "You're going to die."
What do you call a letter from a feminist?
Hate male.
I just watched a documentary about Adolf Hitler. He sure was a popular guy. Everywhere he went, people shouted "Hi Hitler" and gave him a little wave.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.
I went to a feminist picnic the other day. It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.
Hitler and Goering are standing at the top of Berlin’s tallest radio tower. Hitler says he needs to do something that will brighten up the German people. Goering says, "Why don't you jump off?"
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronizing her, claim she knew how to do it anyway and that even if she didn't, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None. It's not the light bulb that needs changing.
Hitler walks into his meeting room, turns to his trusted staff and says, "I want you to organize the execution of 10,000 Jews and one kitten." Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Goering pipes up. "Mein Führer, why do you want to kill a kitten?" Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table. "You see, no one cares about the Jews."
My girlfriend is a feminist. Which basically means she finds sexist jokes utterly abhorrent until one is made about men.
What do you call a happy feminist? I'll let you know if I ever see one.
How do you confuse a feminist? Tell her that you refuse to allow her to make you a sandwich.
Genie Joke
A ginger guy finds a magic lamp and when he rubs it a genie pops out. The genie is a bit fed up but says, "Okay, you can have one wish. What do you want?" The ginger says, "I want a huge mansion with a thousand rooms and a hundred floors, all made of pure gold." The genie looks at him and says, "Don't be an idiot! Do you have any idea how much gold that would take? That's impossible. You'll have to pick something else." So the ginger says, "Okay, I want everyone to stop laughing at me because of my hair color." The genie says "So this mansion... Do you want ensuite bathrooms?"
My friend who's really short had a party the other night and he only invited other really short people. It was just a little get together.
Why don't feminist's go to the gym? Because it has a male name.
What's the first question during a feminist quiz night? What are you looking at?
I asked a dwarf to lend me 5 dollars yesterday. He said, "Sorry, I'm a little short."
What's the difference between a baby and a feminist? At some point in it's life, a baby will grow up and stop crying.
I was walking down the street yesterday when I saw someone pickpocket a dwarf. I don't know how anyone could stoop so low.
Why do short people have a hard time raising a family? Because they struggle to put food on the table.
Pregnancy Joke
My girlfriend is pregnant, and yesterday we went to the first ultrasound together. "At this stage everything looks absolutely fine," said the obstetrician. As I looked at the fuzzy black and white image, I was elated and relieved, but also confused at the same time. How did they know it's not ginger?
I met a couple of really short people today. They were really down-to-earth guys.
Did you hear about the psychic midget who escaped from jail? He's a small medium who's at large.
I tried to go into a midget nightclub last night. The bouncer stopped me on the door and said I couldn't go in. I asked, "Why not?" He said, "Because you're not on the shortlist."
I saw a really short guy walking to catch a bus today. When he saw it coming down the road he broke into a jog. It was getting closer and he still wasn't at the bus stop so started sprinting but it drove off before he got there. It was too little too late.
This is a post on the latest very funny jokes in the whole world.
A guy goes to the doctor for a checkup and his redhead wife goes with him. After the checkup, the doctor calls the wife into his office without her husband. He says to her, "I'm sorry to tell you this but your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, along with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will soon die: Every morning, make him a healthy breakfast. Always be pleasant towards him, and make sure he's in a good mood. For lunch make him a nice, nutritious meal. And for dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Make sure you don't burden him with chores. And don't discuss your problems with him, because it'll only make his stress even worse. And most importantly. make love with your husband every night and you must satisfy his every whim. If you can do this for the next year, I think your husband will get better and regain his health." After this, the redhead leaves the doctor's office and walks out of the building with her husband. As they do so, the guy asks his wife. "So what did the doctor say to you?" The redhead replies, "You're going to die."
What do you call a letter from a feminist?
Hate male.
I just watched a documentary about Adolf Hitler. He sure was a popular guy. Everywhere he went, people shouted "Hi Hitler" and gave him a little wave.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.
I went to a feminist picnic the other day. It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.
Hitler and Goering are standing at the top of Berlin’s tallest radio tower. Hitler says he needs to do something that will brighten up the German people. Goering says, "Why don't you jump off?"
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronizing her, claim she knew how to do it anyway and that even if she didn't, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None. It's not the light bulb that needs changing.
Hitler walks into his meeting room, turns to his trusted staff and says, "I want you to organize the execution of 10,000 Jews and one kitten." Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Goering pipes up. "Mein Führer, why do you want to kill a kitten?" Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table. "You see, no one cares about the Jews."
My girlfriend is a feminist. Which basically means she finds sexist jokes utterly abhorrent until one is made about men.
What do you call a happy feminist? I'll let you know if I ever see one.
How do you confuse a feminist? Tell her that you refuse to allow her to make you a sandwich.
Genie Joke
A ginger guy finds a magic lamp and when he rubs it a genie pops out. The genie is a bit fed up but says, "Okay, you can have one wish. What do you want?" The ginger says, "I want a huge mansion with a thousand rooms and a hundred floors, all made of pure gold." The genie looks at him and says, "Don't be an idiot! Do you have any idea how much gold that would take? That's impossible. You'll have to pick something else." So the ginger says, "Okay, I want everyone to stop laughing at me because of my hair color." The genie says "So this mansion... Do you want ensuite bathrooms?"
My friend who's really short had a party the other night and he only invited other really short people. It was just a little get together.
Why don't feminist's go to the gym? Because it has a male name.
What's the first question during a feminist quiz night? What are you looking at?
I asked a dwarf to lend me 5 dollars yesterday. He said, "Sorry, I'm a little short."
What's the difference between a baby and a feminist? At some point in it's life, a baby will grow up and stop crying.
I was walking down the street yesterday when I saw someone pickpocket a dwarf. I don't know how anyone could stoop so low.
Why do short people have a hard time raising a family? Because they struggle to put food on the table.
Pregnancy Joke
My girlfriend is pregnant, and yesterday we went to the first ultrasound together. "At this stage everything looks absolutely fine," said the obstetrician. As I looked at the fuzzy black and white image, I was elated and relieved, but also confused at the same time. How did they know it's not ginger?
I met a couple of really short people today. They were really down-to-earth guys.
Did you hear about the psychic midget who escaped from jail? He's a small medium who's at large.
I tried to go into a midget nightclub last night. The bouncer stopped me on the door and said I couldn't go in. I asked, "Why not?" He said, "Because you're not on the shortlist."
I saw a really short guy walking to catch a bus today. When he saw it coming down the road he broke into a jog. It was getting closer and he still wasn't at the bus stop so started sprinting but it drove off before he got there. It was too little too late.
This is a post on the latest very funny jokes in the whole world.
